Be Exceptional Blog

Confident decision making

Dawn Abbott - Friday, August 25, 2017
Confident decision making

We need to get clear on how we make decisions if we are going to love ourselves more and become are most authentic selves.

Do you go seek solace and inwardly make choices by yourself or do you seek council from as many people as possible?

Our society has certainly made it easier to get feedback from external sources; reviews online, text a friend, get consumer reports, etc. and these resources are extremely helpful in making a great choice about a new dishwasher, hotel, restaurant or car. What about when you need to make a decision that impacts your life? When the decision is something like a big move, a new job, whether or not to start a family? What if this decision affects your values, ethics or beliefs? Maybe we get so used to getting advice from others in our decision making that we forget to seek council from the best person to know what is best for us – US! I think I have lost confidence at times in my decision making and seek so much external council that I forget to “Gut Check” what is best for me.

When my husband, my partner in life and in business of 23 years, died suddenly; decisions wreaked havoc on my stability. I made plenty of decisions without him in all of our years in business and raising a family – but I knew he had my back and would “be there” if it might not be the best choice. All of a sudden I needed a team of 20 people to help me make a simple choice – because I was the only one who would be facing the consequences of that decision. I lost confidence in my gut. I think we often lose this confidence in our own decision making even without major life disruptors like mine. What do we do about it?

What I have come to learn is that you do not ask other people to decide what is aligned with your values, what will help you move you forward, what will help you achieve your life goals, and what will allow you to use your unique gifts. That isn’t to say you can’t have guidance and someone to talk you through your decisions or help you determine your vision, mission, values, and goals. This stuff needs to be yours! There is no such thing as a one size fits all in tough life choices, there is no formula that worked for your Mom, so it will work for you.

If you are looking for external validation, it is time to put on big girl/big boy pants and trust in YOU! When you develop your own internal guidance system your life will get better and be in flow because you are at the wheel.

Here are 12 questions to help you “grow” your inner decision making God(ess);

 

  • 1.What am I trying to achieve with this decision?
  • 2.What other ways can I look at this decision that I haven’t considered?
  • 3.Are there multiple options?
  • 4.What must I decide right now and what can wait until I have more information?
  • 5.Does this choice align with my core values?
  • 6.Does this decision move my vision forward?
  • 7.Is this choice allow me to fulfill my mission?
  • 8.Will this allow me to use my strengths?
  • 9.Am I keeping my promises to myself?
  • 10. Does this require me to sacrifice my boundaries or force me to give up a priority?
  • 11.Does this require more resources than I have (money, time, and people)?
  • 12.What help and support will I need?

Once you have answered all of these questions you will be much closer to feeling 100% confident in the choice that you need to make. If you want to check in with a few people after you have gotten the opinion of yourself, go for it! Remember everyone has their own priorities, styles, values, beliefs & experiences that cloud their judgement. Love yourself and be authentic by not allowing YOUR decision to be their decision if they were in your shoes, but choose to make the decision that is YOURS!

 

 

 

 

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SWOT Party

Dawn Abbott - Tuesday, March 21, 2017
SWOT Party

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Creating Yourself: A Map of Me

Dawn Abbott - Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Map of Me - Changing furniture in a new house, changing jobs, careers, and going on vacation are all exciting, right? But they can be a bit disorienting and we wouldn’t do these things without making a bit of a plan. For vacation we have to decide where we are, how we are going to get there, and what we will do when we get there. To furnish a new home we take measurements and choose a theme or color. To change jobs we must weigh the schedule, pay, benefits, etc. Yet we tend do most of life and the decisions we make by going through the motions, not with any real intention or purpose. We just make decisions from one of two lanes. The first from limiting beliefs, control, fear, or ego—what we should do because it is expected of us. Or the other lane from our place of power, of knowing our strengths, our unique gifts,  and of our vision and mission. Where are you making your decisions from? For me, I have defined what it looks like when I am in a place of limiting beliefs or in fear. In these times I do not do anything important; I chill and only work on getting myself out of that lane.  Continue reading »

Are You Getting Emotionally Hooked by Strong Emotions?

Dawn Abbott - Wednesday, December 14, 2016

What happens when you feel yourself get emotionally hooked somehow? You feel some strong emotion . . . your heart races, etc. We have an interaction with another person we work with and we immediately make up a story about what that interaction means. Let’s say you are excited about a new idea you have come up with and you share it with your boss and she says, “OK, let’s talk about this later.” You are hooked. You immediately make up a story about what she meant. What you tell yourself is “Oh my gosh, what did I say? I must have totally screwed up; she hates me; they want to get rid of me” or some other horrible version of the truth. We do this because we have all these beliefs that we need to prove are true. We jump to conclusions and this causes trouble. So, the next time something like this happens, I urge you to take these steps. 
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Be Strong Like Clay, Not Strong Like Rock

Dawn Abbott - Friday, December 02, 2016

Be strong like clay, not strong like rock. This is the difference between being hard and impenetrable versus vulnerable—being authentic, transparent, and sharing weakness is actually true strength.  Continue reading »

Life IS Fair!

Dawn Abbott - Friday, November 11, 2016

Life IS fair! People have said to me, “I can’t believe this happened to you, life just isn’t fair sometimes.” Guess what? Life is always fair. I have so many blessings and a great life! I could believe it happened to me. Why not me? Bad stuff and good stuff happens to all of us. The trajectory of your life just depends on what you look at, the good things or the bad stuff.  Continue reading »